I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
