I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You ruined the universe
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
