it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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