I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
