we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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