HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
