I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
