And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
i think i just lost a toe
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
