I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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