There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
