what day is it and did you see me today?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm too high and old for this...
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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