I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Im just a social blackout drinker.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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