its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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