the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
