Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
