I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
