i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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