It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
