Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
