Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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