He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
