R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
