I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
