so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
false alarm, still single
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
