is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
