I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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