'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
