Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
