Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just found puke in my bra..
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
