Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
