I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
