can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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