Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
