the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize