okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
