he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
