Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
