Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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