i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
