Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize
