just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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