Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
