I must be too annoying 4 u.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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