and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
