when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
