You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
