me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
