'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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