HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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