last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
