Define "chronic" masturbator.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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