we made out on top of his cat.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Shame is for Republicans.
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