I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
