i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
