Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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