Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
